In My Perfect World

Here's a poem by me. Enjoy ^_^



In my perfect world there'd be,

An abudnance of that most glorious word, "free"


Nothing would tear this world assunder,

There'd be no need to rape and plunder.


We'd all get along, as would dogs and cats,

And everyone would wear silly hats!


Travel the world without tax or Air fare,

You could see 18 countries in a year, who'd care?


Muslim, Christian, Mormon or Jew,

Forget religion, we'd start anew!


There would be no such thing as a "Holy War",

You could spend each night with a different beur.


Or maybe you'd want to be with the one who matters,

And live your lives like mad fucking hatters.


There'd be no such thing as education fees,

And adventurers wouldn't take arrows in their knees.


Bigotry, Homophobia, these things would desist,

Because in my world, they wouldn't exist!


Disease, violence, ills which plague our mortal race,
I'd say "Fuck em all, let's band together and explore space!"


These are just some of what would be unfurled,

If I had my way, in my own Perfect World!

Photo by Thierry Legault. 2011

Whitney's dead!! ZOMG!

Fuckin get over it, lads!

Jaysus...whenever a celebrity dies the internet goes insane with grief and praise over how amazing that person was. Ryan Dunn, Steve Jobs, Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse and now Whitney Houston.

For those of you too young to even know who Whitney Housten is, she was a popular singer in the 80's and early 90's. Songs like "I wanna dance with somebody", "It's not right, but it's ok", "I will always love you" and "The Shocker" with that immortal line "2 in the pink and 1 in the stink; that's called the shocker!". I may have one of those songs confused with another artist.

Lets get some things into perspective here, people. Whitney Houston, though a singer of talent and pedigree, was nothing more than a woman who could sing, make really bad lifestyle choices and "act" opposite Kevin Costner. That's it. She didnt find a cure for cancer. She didnt swim around the world. She didnt donate her vast riches to those in need. She was just a woman who married a cunt and became a junkie later in her life.

Thousands of people have been slaughted in Syria over the last year or so. Millions have died around the world due to starvation, war, disease, abuse and horrible acts of violance while many others have to live horrible lives in fear, pain and suffering ever single day.

I'm so sick of all this public grief wankathon whenever a celebrity dies. One of my idols, Christopher Hitchens died last year. Another, George Carlin, a few years previously. It sucked, and they were honoured for their achievements and contribution to society but the world didnt fucking end. Whitney Houston sold some records and her music brought some joy and entertainment into people's lives...cool. Good for her and good for those people, but she wasnt fucking Jesus, or Bugs Bunny or any of the other beloved children's fictional characters. So stop acting like she was.

This rant has now ended. Go in peace to love and serve yourselves. And Jason Statham cus he's a baus!

Wanna help make me look stupid?

You know you do. I'm annoying, I complain a lot, i'm an arrogant son of a bitch, a know-it-all smartarse who at least some of you would love it if I got my fair share of ridicule!

Now is your chance! ^_^

There is this thing called Shave or Dye which is a Today Fm (Irish radio station) annual fundraiser for the Irish Cancer Society. The website can be found here: http://www.todayfm.com/sord/shaveordye2012/sord2012_about.aspx

So the thing is this: I promise to dye my hair and you good people sponsor me for it with all monies going to the Irish Cancer Foundation. A very wortyhy cause indeed. But wait..."Dye your hair, Adam? that's a bit lame!" I hear you say. Well, that's where it gets fun for all of you! I have no say in what colour or colours my hair shall be dyed. No control at all over how my head shall look. Rainbow head? A full head of hot pink hair? That's up to you. Come the first week of March, when I have recieved all the money you wonderful people have pledged, I will ask all of you what colour or colours you want me to sport on top of this lovely cranium of mine and the colour with the most votes is the winner. Hopefully by the 7th of March I will then share with the world my lovely new hair do.

"Ah, but you'll just wear a hat like always"...so cynical, you people are! NO...no hats (unless it's really feckin cold)

So there ya have it. You get to make me look like a twonk, and we all get to help of a great cause. What do ya say, team?

UPDATE: http://www.mycharity.ie/fundPageTemplateX.php?urlRef=adamshair
This is the website you can use to donate online and keep track of how much has been raised.

W.A.F.F.L.E

Here's a brain fart I just had. Share a bizzare J-Pop music video each Friday and call it W.A.F.F.L.E. (I might just share Japanese videos in general. Japan is fuckin weird. That is why I loves it. Also it has Ninjas. and Samurai. And really hot ladies.)

Waffle is a term that can be used when people speak jibberish for an undisclosed amount of time. For example: "I hadn't a clue what yer man was on about. Sure didn't he just waffle on for like 20 minutes?"

Waffle is also an acronym for Weird As Fuck Fridays Lesbian Ecbole. (The word ecbole means digression. I needed a word for L and E to make the acronym fit and I enjoy lesbians. Also I digress a lot. See? It all fits together into a nice little package! Kinda like real waffles, which I love.)

Now yes, I am aware that Japanese is a perfectly understandable language to those who can speak it, but I dont and therfore it sounds like waffle to me.

ANYWHO!

Here it is! The first W.A.F.F.L.E video! Will it be the last? Who the fuck knows with me.


It's a song called PonPonPon by きゃりーぱみゅぱみゅ (Which I can only assume means cute little Japanese girl). This video has everything. It's like Random Man blew his load all over a Turkey wearing green sleeves. Then ate the Turkey cus he's boss like that.

Pussy Farts

That got your attention, didnt it?

I cant sleep so i've decided to revisit some old test results from Ok Cupid tests. I've done something like this before and the results were quite different. For example, back in 2010, I re-took a test I had previously done a few years before that and got these differing results...

Your result for The Doomed Romantic Test...
Dead Inside

24% Romanticism, 31% Melodrama, 29% Desperation, 40% Uselessness
Low Romanticism, Low Melodrama, Low Desperation and Low Uselessness - you are Dead Inside.

ON THE PLUS SIDE: You don't giving a flying holy fuck about any of this love hoopla. It's idiocy. For the birds. You're not going to sucumb to it and nor are you going to be hurt by it. You know what you want, and it's certainly not doomed romances.

ON THE MINUS SIDE: You don't want any romances, in fact. You're a shambling wraith of the human condition, devoid of even a trace amount of magnificence. Aww.And the new result is:

Your result for The Doomed Romantic Test ...(Re-taken in 2010)
The Wraith

58% Romanticism, 41% Melodrama, 25% Desperation, 43% Uselessness
High Romanticism, Low Melodrama, Low Desperation and Low Uselessness - you are The Wraith.

You've seen the movies, read the books - you know how this love thing works. And you like it. You like it a lot. You're in love with being in love. You don't care with who.

You exist only to fall in love, drifting from relationship to relationship as though nothing's wrong. But something is wrong - you. Hmmm....not a great improvement there, is there? I went from Dead inside to Death incarnate. Shite.


Lovely. So let me see how this fairs in 2012...

Your result for The Doomed Romantic Test ...
Cretinous Fool

48% Romanticism, 21% Melodrama, 36% Desperation, 57% Uselessness
Low Romanticism, Low Melodrama, Low Desperation and High Uselessness - you are the Cretinous Fool.

Well, if there's one thing you're good at, it's being a flaming retard. Of that we can be sure. Whether or not you're going to find love, doomed or otherwise, is not the question you need to ask yourself. You need to ask: Should I sterilise myself now for the good of humanity?

And yes, unfortunately - the answer is yes.


Oh...how wonderful.



NEXT UP! We have The Brutally Honest Personality Test. Last Time I got "Prick". Seems fitting.

The 2012 result is.....: I'm still a Prick. Yay!

Your result for The Brutally Honest Personality Test ...
Prick- ENTP

67% Extraversion, 67% Intuition, 67% Thinking, 20% Judging
People love to hate you, because you love to argue. The strange thing is you probably took that as a compliment. Why, I bet you've already got a witty comeback all lined up ready to throw right back at me.

What you don't realise is that your inane obsession with debating pisses everyone off. Whatever happened to us all trying to get along? I mean, you're so annoying people disagree with you for the damn sake of it! NOBODY cares about your abundant opinions. Trust me.

Believe it or not, but there's more to life than your expansive knowledge and sharp repertoire. When was the last time you showered? Brushed your teeth?

While you're up in Nevernever land, getting excited over future possibilities and your crazy theories, WE have to put up with your awful stench. I can smell you from here.

Your personality is ideal for that of a future lawyer and because everyone already hates you, you have nothing to lose.


Yeah, that seems about right.