Symbolic Prison Sentences

Why? I ask you why such a thing even exists.

Imagine the scene:

Johnny Good Lawyer is presenting his closing argument to the jury. They listen intently, for the most part, as he swaggers and postures around in front of them, making grand hand gestures and using big words like 'concordently' and 'Now, I don't know much about your big ciddy ways' as he slides his thumbs up and down the inside of his suspenders. (...and those things that hold up his pants. Hey O!)

He tells of the anguish and tragedy suffered by his client at the hands of another.

The Judge asks "Have you reached a verdict?"

"We have, your honour" would come the response.

Guilty, blah blah blah etc. Then the Judge reads out the verdict and the camera pans in for dramatic effect as the court room shakes and the judge bellows "I sentence you to a bajillion zillion years in prison!!!!!!"

Gasp, shock, horror! A large-breasted blonde faints, Journalists run for the phones wearing those hats with those little white cards resting on the side that say "Press"... because, y'know, why not?

The headlines of tomorrow's papers read "Man Sentenced to a Bajillion Zillion years in prison!!" With the redundent as fuck quote a few lines down "Sentence is mostly symbolic".

No fucking shit it's symbolic!! What are we, Trees!? Why give out such ludicrously pointless sentences? "Yo, dawg. You hear what happend to TJ? He got sent down for a stretch in San Quentin! "Oh word, fo real? How long he got?" "Motha fucka got 20,000 years!"

Gah!!! ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) Y U Gotta be so retarded!? (...and stereotypically racist)

This rant was brought on by this article which I found via the BBC's News website stating that a 55 year old ex-soldier was givin a 6,060 year prision sentence for his role in a war crime during the Guatemalan Civil War.

Ok, so I understand making an example and bringing such a criminal to justice but come on. The maximum life sentence is 50 years. The dude is 55!! He's not going to live long enough to ever to see the end of the actual sentence. Why piss around with stupid numbers!?

Man, I'm angry today. And to top it all off THIS happened!


Shoot me, shoot me now!

Some newsie type things

There are times where I find myself spamming facebook with links to stories I find interesting, funny, abhorent etc becuase I like to share things around now and then. I've been doing this for as long as I can remember. It just struck me though, why fill up my friend's feeds with endless links when I can just as easily fire them all off in one place. Like a shotbun blast instead of single bullets from a 9MM. I suppose i've been inspired by the likes of Phillip DeFranco and Sourcefed.

Where as their productions are professional and produced with awesomeness, this little thing here will just be links and or videos with sporadic comments. I might even just share what I find because of those two youtube channels. Well, sharing is caring as they say and all credit will ofcourse go to those who originaly created such things.

Anywho...

This story from the BBC website caught my eye because of how unfair it seems to be to do the right thing. Man tries to download music. Downloads kiddie porn without his knowledge. Reports incident to police. Loses right to be around his own Daughter. Pretty fucked up. Click here for the full story.

Next up, again from the BBC, is the story of members of Lulzsec, the so called "Hacktivist" group who have recently been arrested in connection with a serious of cyber crimes. One of the men, Donal, was a student at the same University I go to. Go, College!
I'm have my theories on the sudden rise and subsequent fall of Lulzsec and the recent revelation that their former leader, "Sabu", had turned and was working with the FBI for the last few months really doesnt surprise me at all. It begs the question, if Sabu was working for the FBI, and Lulzsec was involved in attacking high profile targets such as Visa, Sony, the CIA etc, were these attacks orchestrated or influenced by the FBI themselves?

Click here for this story in full.


That's about it for now. I suppose I should've done this kind of thing sooner, and now I'm fighting the urge to back-date all the things but I wont. I link to way too many things on facebook. I'm sorta getting sick and tired of that damned thing and who knows, I may get rid of it one day and focus soley on this bloggity as a means to divulge my chaotic brain droppings.

Kate Upton, eat Carl's Burger, or the kitten gets it!

There are many things I love in this world. Among them are boobs and burgers. Recently, a commercial for U.S fast food chain Carl's Jr combined these two glorious inventions. Here is the ad:



However, there is just one thing wrong: Feminists.

Yes, women all over the internet (Rule 1 doesnt apply in this case) are outraged by the cheap, trashy, misogynistic and sexual debasement of Kate Upton, who was forced to look as edible as the burger she was having mouth sex with in the advert.

The ever fappable Ms Upton was kidnapped by Navy S.E.A.Ls not so long ago, while making her way to church. She was then told if she didnt advertise the coronary-inducing, 890 calorie giving cheesy cow sandwhich, then Jesus would kill a kitten. What was she supposed to do? Just let Jesus decimate all those cute and innocent pussies!?

NOT ON HER WATCH! So Kate did what Kate does best...looks fucking sexual as all hell and sold the shit out of that burger!

Then came the outrage!

This picture is a small sample of the fury left by angry women on the Carl's Jr facebook page. How dare they try to sell fatty food to obese men using a scantily clad, sexy lady! Shame!! SHAME!!! We thought this was America!

Ladies, ladies, calm down. It's only a commercial. Why are you attacking Carl's Jr? If you eat there, then well you obviously don't look anything like Kate Upton and are therefore just jealous of her amazing body and her ability to give men erections. If you don't eat there, why do you even care? Did you go all spastic when those fucktards at Peta got all sexified with fruit and vegetables?
I doubt it. Why? Becuase the leader of Peta is a woman. A fucking dumb as shit, hippie twat of a woman, but a woman none the less.

So cop the fuck on. Men will always eat fast food. Men will always loves tits. The best way to sell meat to men is buy using hot, sexy ladies. That's just how the world is. Moaning about it will never change anything.