The Giving Lens

Monday, January 4, 2010


How is it that after 6 months that you still hurt when you think of certain things?

I mean really, thinking back over the last 3 + years and realising that as they prgressed, your happiness and hopefulness grew dimmer and dimmer and things getting harder and harder and reaching the point where eventually you make the decision to end things because you just dont want to wait anymore,and saying to yourself what others have said, that you'll be better off and that things will get better and they do in some respects. You start feeling good about your future and your present and you think you have finally turned a corner. Then You hear something, that make all of those feelings rush back in at incredible speed. The love, the anger, the bitterness, the misery, the futile hope....It all comes rushing back in and all you can do is try blcok it all out with pointless distractions because you cant deal with it.

How after 6 months can you still be almost shut down? One event leads to another that leads to another, like dominos. What the fuck, like?