The Giving Lens

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


I've been meaning to do another of these but i've been quite lazy lately. Im just lyin down, listening to Tim Minchin (16 days left before I go see him live! woo) and looking at some cyanide and happiness comics. I got a laptop finnaly, so now I can do my interwebz surfing LYING DOWN!!

Went to Kilkenny this past weekend and had a great time. Met up with some friends, had some drinks and played a couple of hands of Magic: The Gathering. Upon my return to Galway, I promptly went out and bought my own deck and a booster pack lol. Now, to find people to play with. Story of my life really.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


So a friend of mine just bought "Are you Dave Gorman?" and "Googlewhack" and she is now trying to find a googlewhack for herself. Which, in turn, has lead me on a similar quest (fraut with peril and dragons!)

It's mental I tells ya! The closest I have come is "Nudzh Qin" with 5 results. A cheeky combination of China's first emperor and my new favourite word, meaning: One who persistently pesters, annoys, or complains.

There were a few close calls last night, which I can no longer remember, netting me a cool and VALID 1 result. Alas, the link was invalid due to it be just a compendium of of words on some guys blog which turned out to be a list of already known googlewhacks. Failure!

Here are the rules, according to

What are the rules?
Rule Number One: Your two Googlefactors must exist in Google's view of legitimate words in this dictionary. Not your view; Google's view! Google does the work, and Google has the final word on what may be legitimate! In the blue bar atop your Google results, accepted terms are linked, and so appear 'underlined.' No line, no link, or no legitimate word = Googlejack! (As in, You've got jack, so see the FAQ :-)

Rule Number Two: Google also is the arbiter of a whack's uniqueness. Look to the right end of the blue bar atop your Google results. If you see "Results 1 - 1 of (any number),' you found exactly one hit = Googlewhack!

Rule Number Three: Google shows you an excerpt of the page you whacked. Look at that text. If it's merely a list of words (such as a bibliography, concordance, encyclopedia, glossary, thesaurus, dictionary, domain names, or plain old machine-generated random garbage), No Whack For You!

However, I shall remain vigilent in the face of such travesties and press forth. Excelsior and all that malarky. I would list my attempts here, but I do not want some poor unfortunate schleb to think he has found his El Dorado, only to be directed here, to my list of failures. Such was my fate.

And now...on with the whacking!!!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

And now for something completely different...

Pardon me boy, is that the Chattenooga choo choo? Track 29, oh wont you give me a shine... *JAZZ HANDS*

So yeah...i was trying to sleep but I decided to blog rondomness for a bit instead. So, whats new with me...well I broke up with the girlfriend a few weeks shin and surrounding area on my right leg is feeling strange riight now. Almost like there is preassure on it. Maybe I should see a doctor...or perhaps a masseues. I cant spell massuesus. Its a funny word anyway so fuck it.

Sorry, my internal monlogue thinks its Craig Ferguson lately (cue audience laughter) so I tend to ramble on pointlessly. Its about this time most nights that I get the idea to write things. I dont know why. I run through what I would write, in my head, and think to myself why are you writing it in your head? Just get a pen and paper or type it. And Then I think No, sure I'll do it after ive slept. By then ofcourse Ive forgotten all about it. I thinking I shouldve done that with this....

I know it says my next blog will be my fav Muse songs but im a mercurial bastard and I rarely follow through on anything if i dont do it straight away.

Lets see, what else...

Im feeling quite gassy at the moment, or "Farty" as the scottish Conan guy would say. Oh, my brother and his fiancé just had a baby. Well I say they, but really it was just her. Robin spent the day trying to sonogram his head so he could see his brain on the monitor. Epic win.

I have been severly strapped for cash the last couple of weeks. So much so that i managed to pay two weeks rent using 5, ten and 20p's! Ands ive eaten fuck all. Good news for for my waistline i guess. But huzzah! My poorness is soon to end as I am getting my dole money backdated! Or so im told. The Social welfare office isnt exactly a paradign of truth and virtue.

...yeeeah, definatly farty.

Man this really is a random blog isnt it? lol

I suppose i should wrap things up. And possibly go to the toilet. So on that bombshell...Goodnight everybody!

p.s: Any spelling or grammatical errors in this blog are the result of darkness, over-tiredness, laziness and fartiness.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


The greatest band of all time is set to release their fifth studio album next month and in celebration of this, I shall post the lyrics to the song "Uprising" right here!! You lucky people! Also, The song itself!

So, enjoy the glory that is Muse....(next up, My favourite Muse songs)

The paranoia is in bloom, the PR
The transmissions will resume
They'll try to push drugs
Keep us all dumbed down and hope that
We will never see the truth around

Another promise, another scene, another
A package not to keep us trapped in greed
With all the green belts wrapped around our minds
And endless red tape to keep the truth confined

They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious

Interchanging mind control
Come let the revolution take it's toll if you could
Flick the switch and open your third eye, you'd see that
We should never be afraid to die

Rise up and take the power back, it's time that
The fat cats had a heart attack, you know that
Their time is coming to an end
We have to unify and watch our flag ascend

They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious

They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Daily Fail

I have already ruined the continuity of the title. Damn lower case 'f'...

But I digress..

This guy brings the term "Drinking problem" to new and hilariouos heights

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Daily Fail

I have decided that once a day (or whenever I get around to it) I will post a video or a picture that I find, to use the parlance of our times, "Lulz worthy".

Here be the first one. What a tit. But I guess you have to admire his gumption

Vampires are Killers this has bugged me for a little while. When I was younger I watched Buffy and for the most part, Angel. And I enjoyed them. They were funny and entertaining shows. For the first few seasons at least. But ofcourse, then I grew up and got a little more sense. Vampires are supposed to be evil, soul-less blood sucking denizins of hell. Not attractive broody types who walk around in the day time, suducing teenage girls. Im talking to you Twillight author!!

I havent watched that movie, or read the book. I have better things to do. Like for example, pick fluff from my belly button, or laugh at people when they fall over in the street. This bullshit romanticising of Vampires has got to stop. The word "Vampire" originates from Kazan Tatar 'ubyr' meaning "witch." An Eastern European creature popularized in Eng. by late 19c. gothic novels, however there are scattered Eng. accounts of night-walking, blood-gorged, plague-spreading undead corpses.(taken from

Now, does that sound like a romantic creature to you? Do you really think that kind of thing would sit around in a victorian mansion, brooding all day long, surrounded by candles and reading books? No. It sounds fucking awesome. It sounds like a group of badass motherfukers who roam the lands looking to tear out the throat of their next victim.

So enough of this Interview with a Vampire, Angel, Twilight, True Blood crap! Hell, even the Vampires in Blade were gay as hell when you get right down to it.

Im with Guillermo del Toro on this one. I want my Vampires blood thirsty, disgusting, terrifying, undead monters with no remorse and no mercy!

Now, since I mentioned True Blood, I would to make a quick statement.

I have watched it. 3 episodes in fact. And all I can say is this: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?

Im tempted to keep watching just to see if the gorgeous Anna Paquin gets down and dirty like everyone seems to do in that show. God damn, there is a lot of sex in that show. Sex and fuckin pityful acting/dialogue. And as for the Vampires? Whats up with the lame ass fangs that pop out? Ive seen bigger fangs on a snake for gods sake.

Alas, this destruction of a great monster is not limited to Vampires. The tragic Blood and Chocolate relegates the kick ass Werewolf to just a normal, everyday run of the mill Wolf. Just a wolf. And guess what? The story revolved around a girl who fell in love with a guy (you know the type, sensitive upstanding guy, who just happens to be a "monster" but wants to nicer then his "evil" friends) God awful. Seriously. kinda getting a bit bored with all this typing. Im hungry....

Goodnight everybody!

Thursday, July 23, 2009


Im feeling lazy (whats new?) So Ive decided to (re)post something here, what I posted somewhere else, with a few amendments. Basically its a trip down memory lane, basking in the awesome cartoon-ness that was my childhood.

Bravestar. The cartoon about a sheriff and his anthropamorphic metal horse, fighting crime on a planet called "New Texas". I have been told this was the follow up to He-Man. I'll never forget the theme tune, but alas, the episodes have become lost in time.

Now this was superb cartoon-age. I was mad about this as a kid and while browsing in a shop a couple years back, found the first two episodes on dvd! Now my niece loves it ha! Have to hand it to the Phantom. He wore a purple, skin tight cat-suit, with a black eye mask, and he still wasnt as gay as Mandrake.

The oldest cartoon in this list, and the one I have almost zero memory of apart from the first half of the theme tune. Theme tunes for these shows kicked ass. Kids today dont know what they be missin I tells ya! Perhaps this is when my fascination with the Greek gods/mythology began?

Jayce and the wheeled warriors is a cartoon I had completely forgotten about until one day, while browsing through or a similiar site, I vaguely recalled the name. When I clicked on the link it was if a door opened in my brain and all this awesomeness poored out. I loved this show. I loved the song, I loved the characters, I had a crap load of the tiys. I miss my primary school days :(
Well, the after school, watch cartoons all afternoon days. School was shit.

Needs no introduction does this one. We all new it, we all loved it. I remember I managed to draw the turtles and splinter one day. I was so proud that I hung them on my bedroom wall. Splinter was so good, everyone thought it was drawn by someone else. Then one day I had a fit and tore them all down, along with several birthday cards. I have no idea why I did that, but I was bet stupid for it! lol. I cried and cried afterwords cus I missed my drawings.I was a weird kid.

HE-MAN. 'Nuff said

It's funny, alot of these cartoons have stayed with me because of the theme tune. But its kind of impossible these days to NOT know about the Transformers. Its the only cartoon I know abput that has a porno version. Tranny-formers. Eh, so im told.

It's about half 6 in the morning. Early 90's I think. Im 7 yeras old. Maybe 8. I have been woken early to be told that granny Murphy has passed away. My dad's mother. Im standing in the hallway. Im to young to understand but I know something is going on. Maybe i''ll get the day off school? better yet, since im awake, I can watch Thundercats!! Awesome.

Im noticing a trend here. Memories based on music and merchandise. (In fact, i had toys from a cartoon not in this list that i didnt even know was a cartoon!) Anyway, I cant actually remember WATCHING this show, but I must have because I knew the song, I knew some of the guys names and ofcourse, I had the toys. See, right there. That boat coming out of the car? I had that.

Skeleton warriors, even today as I watch this clip, kicks fuckin ass! Great sound track, great idea, great characters. Grimskull, hello? First time i can remember a cartoon character being in that "grey" area. Although he may not be as anti-hero as I remember, the sheer idea of him is enough for me to rate this as one of the best cartoons ever made.

From one of the best, to one of the lamest, hahaha. I used to watch this every afternoon when I got home from school. If memory serves, back then I knew it was cheesy and kind of crap, but it was a James Bond cartoon for cryin out loud!

I only rememberd this show last week as it happens. I was lying in bed, going through youtube watching the rest of these clips and a brief whisper in my mind said "cartoon that had mech machines, Virtual reality battles". Well, ok, it didnt say that but thats the theme im going for. I started thinking how in the hell I would find out a cartoons name, based solely on that description. Google, dont fail me now!
So I went a searching, and after randomly searching old cartoon forums, I took a chance on The Bots master. A name I didnt recognise. Wah hey! Success! Again that door flew open and the memory of a 3d cartoon with A FUCKIN ROBOT NINJA WITH MULTPLE ARMS AND A PLASMA SWORD!!! came flooding back to me. And what do kids have today? Ben fucking 10! Its a disgrace.

My first introduction to the X-Men. I hoenstly cant remember an earlier time of knowing about them. It paved the way to my longing to have super powers. Shame it had Jubilee as a character. She sucked.

Well folks, there you have it. That is how I spent the vast majority of my childhood. My formative years. Thanks a massive bunch to Shn for helping me out with the html code. Just one cartoon remains to be shared. One which I have just realised was way before it's time. It was clever, hilarious and filled with adult humour. No, not South Park. Not Family Guy. Ladies and Gentlemen, Its time for.............

Monday, July 20, 2009

Scientology and Youtube

So, how about that Scientology, eh?

Do you know what bugs me? No, its not the bullshit propaganda. Nor is it the human rights violations apparantly commited by the "church". Nor is it even David Miscavaige's stupid douche bag face. No, what bugs me most about Scientology are those brain dead "victims" who leave the "religion" crying and complaining and expecting sympathy for handing over their life savings to a group of *insert hilarious insult here*.

"I was a scientologist for 20 years and I gave them $40,000. Now im broke and my family hates me."


What in gods name did you expect? A farewell party and a cactus? Look at all of the other established, ACTUAL religions in the world. How many of them demand you pay them ridiculous amounts of money for tests you dont fucking need in the first place? "Oh im terribly sorry, but Budda says you cannot reach enlightenment until you pay us what we need. Please re-morgage your house and try again."

"I stared into a mans eyes for an hour and a half. Next thing I know, i was signing my name to a peice of paper and gave him my Building Society details. That way, they could take what ever money they wanted, whenever the wanted."


Anyone who is that dumb DESERVES to be robbed blind. Hey, while your being an idiot, why not invest in some of that homeopathy horse shit? Watch "The O'Reily Factor" as a factual news program? People like you are the reason con men exist. Do us all a favour and eat your own cock.

Im usually all for the Scientology bashing, but seeing interviews on youtube of these people and their stories pissed me right off. Dont get me wrong, Im happy people are coming out against them. Anonymous rocks my socks, but if you do leave the "church", dont fucking whinge about how much money you lost because you were to fucking stupid to realise what was going on!

Now, as for youtube...I have an entirely different beef with that. First off, this "did he dided?" bullshit has gone on for far to long and needs to fucking end. NOW!

Yes seeing the man fall down a flight of stairs is funny. Thats why its on the internet. There is absolutely no reason, intelligent or other wise, to ask if the man in said video perished due to his injuries. Its not cute, its not funny its just fucking annoying. I dont mind when certain terms make their way into every day internet speak. I use some of those words. However, I do have a problem when that mind numbingly pointless shit starts popping up everywhere I look. Fuck off back to /b/ and stay there!

Now while im on the subject of youtube and fucking annoying, I want to address something that i have just become aware of. Being the shining example of slowness that I am, I was late in seeing a series of videos in relation to a kid who became affectionatly known as "homo kid". While funny for the first ten seconds, I realised something. This kid was literally bullied off youtube. Thats not fucking right. Video after video was posted making fun of this kid. By people of ALL ages. Seriously. I found a middle aged guy making fun of him. The child in question is ten years old or there abouts. Obviously from a fundamentalist christian family. So due to his upbringing, AND BEING A FUCKING CHILD!, he has some pretty ignorant views on certain issues.

Youtube is a place where people can pretty much do what they want. If you want to flame a guy for his stupid hair, go ahead. If some guy wants to video tape himself peeing into his brothers cornflakes, I'll watch for the lulz. But if your sole purpose is to shit all over a little kids only means of expressing himself, regardless of how misguided he is, then you have fucking serious problems and I hope you die of severe anal tearing. Gay jokes are funny to a point, but straight out hatred and bullying proves your nothing more than dirt to be scraped off my shoe.

I would like to round off this lecture by going over a few questons about Scientology's marketing and branding.

Firstly, the most obvious question I need to ask is "What happend to Zenu?"

Anyone who has read up on the history of Scientology knows that the Zenu story was, and some say still is, the foundation on which everything was built. Thats no way to treat your heritage! Completely disregarding your god because others find it hilarious. How about some damn pride, eh?

Also, what gives with the logo? Now im no iconographer, but doesnt that bere a striking resemblance to a certain OTHER, far more established cross? Are we to believe Christ was a Scientologist? Surely not. For one, my homeboy JC wasnt down with the whole "Celebrity status" thing. And im pretty sure there were no E-Meters in Jeruselem. Then again, the 3 wise men did bring him gold when he was born so I could be mistaken.

Secondly, why is it I never see any google ads promoting Or any other website connected to Islam, Judaism, Hindism or Christianity? Its only fair they get in on some of that action.

Thus endith the lesson children. Go in peace.

In the name of the father, the son and Samuel L. Jackson.


Sunday, July 19, 2009

A nice Sunday afternoon...

Ah, that was a pleasent day. I enjoy random encounters with people I know. Not that well, but its rare i see anyone I recognise in this city, so it was a welcome change.

I got up, as you do on a Sunday, around 4pm. Rubbed the crust from my eyes, had a pee, checked my mail and had a smoke. Usual thing to do when I awaken. I recently purchused an item from a website and after reviewing the recipt, realised I had put down the wrong adress. D'oh! So as the address was convieniently, just around the corner, I made up my mind to inform the occupants that a package would soon be arriving and could they contact me when it did. Grand I thought, thats that taken care of. Now what?

Since its the Arts Festival, i decided to take a walk around town. So I meandered down shop street, not knowing where I would end up. I passed through a market, which I can only describe as "Hippy Heaven". All sorts of trinkets and do-hickies, hats, shirts, bags, ankle bracelets (which a mother tried to convience her teenage daughter, also doubled as hair beads. The daughter was having none of it.) and all sorts of junk that hippies seem to love. As i approached a Faloffel stand and some near by dancing minions, I thought it best to find the quickest exit, lest I be acossted by some scruffy turd named "moonbeam", trying to sell me healing crystals.

As I walked down the street, the fading music and new age love-in behind me, I heard my name being called. It was a friend sitting outside a pub with two people I recognised from Spanish class. "Will ya have a pint?" . I pondered briefly. Having not eaten anything since the chocolate muffin I had at 4.Am that morning, I weighed the pro's and cons. "Sure why not" was my response. Fuck it, its not like i have to be up for work in the morning, is it?

We passed the hours talking about this and that. Met a Japaneese guy called "Nemo" from Yokohama and I discovered that you can put an image on practically anything, as long as your dark room is big enough. Ideas abound!

Ive only been up for 6 hours or so but already im quite sleepy and I very much look forward to watching Forbidden Planet.

All in all, a short day, but a good one.

Goodnight everybody!

Fit the First

Well, here we go I guess. I just decided to start a Blog. A proper one, with its own page and everything! I have a lot of thoughts (see, right there you can tell it was a good idea to start reading. This guy, im sure your thinking, is deep) and, when i get around to it, I like writing so why not juxtapose the two. I'll start with a brief description of myself to get the ball rolling and then move on in to other territories.

The first problem is...I can never describe myself well because im pretty much in a state of flux as far as personality and tastes go.
Im 26, Im currently a Student at NUIG, I have pretty bad spelling and awful grammar at times (not so far. I think) I spend way to much time on the internet...mainly watching vids on youtube.

I enjoy documentaries but only when im in certain moods. I like knowledge and learning just for the sake of it. I rarely get to use said knowledge to my benefit though. I tend to have all of my best thought out opinions when nobody is around to hear them. Im more of a night person...which is a good and bad thing i guess. I sleep alot being the downside of that.

I have been told by many that I am intelligent, funny and witty, however I am none of these when I try. I tend to just come of as a dick when that happens.

Relationship wise, im kind of in a self imposed hiatus right now. Myself and the missis have been going through what seems like an extended bad patch with sporadic moments of fun and contentment. She does alot of things that piss me off and I do alot that she hates. The distance bewteen us, geographically, probably has the most to do with the fighting but there are many other difficulties aswel. I wont go into them here because after nearly 3 years together, they just seem insane. Suffice to say, I find myself having to really look at the situation and try to figure out, once and for all, what the next step should be.

I am currently unemployed, but to be honest, I dont really mind. The only jobs ive ever had were working in supermarkets or pulling pints (badly) in a pub. I envy those people who know, in their gut, what it is they want to do and go after that feeling. I have friends who are photographers, film makers, run their own business's (if thats wrong, its because i can never spell that right and i cant be arsed using google right now) I however have absolutley no clue what sort of job or career i want. Im doing a degree in Italian and Celtic Civilisation for fuck sake! lol What will that get me?!?

I wouldnt mind running a small tour guide operation in Italy or Greece one day. Maybe a beach front bar or restaurant in Crete. I was in Crete in May. Hersonissos. Great place. You should go. But ofcourse, in order for those pipe dreams to work out, i need money. To get that, a job and so on and so forth. The phrase "Stage one: Collect underpants..." springs to mind.

Actually, recently I have been thinking about how cool it would be to get a career in Demolition. Like rigging buildings to collapse or working the wrecking ball! Ha. All of this from an almost broke 26 year old student who makes procrastination an art form.

I often think i have developed alot slower than my biological clock is aware of. When I was 16 for example, I sat at home on weekends and watched WWF Raw and Smackdown, alone, while other kids my age went out to clubs and parties etc. Now, ten years later, I have the mindset and maturity of a 16 year old. Although I still do sit alone at home lol.

Ive never been able to do the "make friends" thing very well. I have friends ofcourse, but either they live in other parts of the country, or in other countries entirely. Im not sure how i got on to this subject and I have suddenly realised that technically, im talking to myself. I have no idea who will read this, if anyone, but i find that once I start typing i drift into a monologue. Its as if Im narrating. Its how I write things I guess. Write as if im talking to someone. I did that in a story I wrote once. I say story, it was more a derivative, unfinished collection of 6 "chapters". I might post it here actually.

Man, I have to congratulate you if your still reading this. I lost interest about ten minutes ago!

I suppose I should wrap this up. Its 08:54 on Sunday Morning July 19th und this is me signing off.

Goodnight everybody!