The Giving Lens

Monday, July 16, 2012

The Tale of Zombie Bob

Once upon a time, in a world far different to our own, there was an Island. An island of fantastic, magical people and wondrous creatures. This Island was called Aurora. The natives who lived there had perfect, happy lives. There was no crime. No poverty. No sickness. There was however, amongst all the beauty and joy, a village; and in this village, there lived a little boy called Bob. Bob was different. Bob didn't have any magical powers like the Elundi tribe of the Hilo Hills. Nor did he have the brute strength of the Galatoi people from the North Plains of Halsdurugun. Nor did Bob have the outstanding beauty of the White Maidens of Kalandra's Keep. No, Bob had none of these features. Why not, I hear you ask? The reason was because Bob was a Zombie.

Bob had a difficult childhood. He was found in a basket on the beach one day by Elum the Wizard. Elum brought him back to the village and decided to adopt him. But as the years progressed, Bob developed a taste for brains and not the local fruits and vegetables the other villagers ate. This worried Elum and so he tried to create a potion to rid Bob of this affliction. It did not work however and when Bob approached his 8th birthday, his lust for brains insatiable, he was cast out by the villagers and forced to live alone in a small house outside the village gates. Bob was lonely. He would invent games to play and try to become friends with anyone who passed by, but nobody wanted to talk to him. This mad Bob sad.

When Bob was 12, Elum told him that he had created another potion and that he thought it would work. Bob drank the potion and slept for 3 days. When he awkened, he felt strange. His skin was a lovely shade of orange, he had beautiful green hair and he no longer felt the need to consume the brains of the innocent villagers. Everyone was happy and they welcomed Bob back into the Village. Bob attended school, and made lots of friends and was finnaly able to play all the games he had invented. But Bob was angry. He despised everyone because of how they had treated him. One night, he snook into Elum's Magic Chamber and drank all the potions he could find hoping that he would again become a zombie. It worked. Bob's hair fell out, his skin became dark and grey and his hunger for brains returned. The next day, Bob waited for all the villagers to fall asleep and then he attacked them. He ate all the brains he could and turned the remaining villagers into zombies. Revenge is sweet, Bob thought.

And they all lived hapilly ever after. The End.

And to think, I wrote an translated this for one of my Italian classes at Uni. Time well spent. 

Thursday, May 3, 2012


Shush, it's a thing now, right? I have been infected with the need and want to take photos and thus, to buy my very own DSLR Camera. One of them fancy ones proper people use. Alas, though I may be made of win and awesome, I am not made of money.

Ten years ago this year I moved to Kilkenny (Ireland) and it was there I met many people who have shaped my life in some way or another. It was all new and exciting at the time, what with the interesting people and their interesting ways. Artists, musicians, photographers. I envied them and admired them but I didn't want to be them. I was content to let them do their thing while I kind of just watched from the sidelines. A few years passed and I found myself going to college in Galway and even though I had never shown any real interest in the hobbies of my friends, photography and music still fascinated me. I bought a guitar but I have, as of yet, still not learned how to play. I joined the University's Photography society but never attended one meeting. Cameras are expensive. So are all the peripherals that go with them. I've owned a couple of cameras in my life but never more than run of the mill point and clicks that everyone has. Pretty much every photo I took while in I was in Italy was taken using my phone, yet there is something fun and satisfying about seeing a photo opportunity and taking what you think is, subjectively at least, a pretty decent photo.

Skip forward to just after my sister's wedding and browsing through the photos that had been taken, my family seemed to come to the consensus that the amateur point and click stuff my brother took was better than the professional my sister had hired. Well, some what better at least. So he and I, a few months later, are now ourselves trying our hands at this wedding photography craic just to see if we can make a go of it. However I find myself wanting to just go out and take pictures just because. I find myself looking at some of my friend's work, the actual 'went to college to study photography or have been with camera in hand for a decade' friends and appreciating them on a new level. Combine this with what I've been learning by playing around in photoshop and it's a like my brain has exploded due to creativity and inspiration. I'll add links here to the blogs/internetly homes of a few people who have inspired me and have added to this new hobby of mine which I can see possibly becoming an addiction even more pernicious than my already substantial reliance on midjit tranny porn.

Robin Murphy - My brother. Yes, it's shameless self promotion but the photos are pretty damn good none the less.

Aoife Blake - Friend of a friend of mine who I've just discovered due to her recent levitation photography project. Really great stuff.

Torino Daily Photo - I discovered this guy while living in Turin. I don't visit the blog often, but the stuff I have seen from him I love.

Hector Heathwood - A well respected, admired and loved photographer based in Dublin specialising in model photoshoots.

Scarlett Fro - (NSFW) A good friend of mine who randomly found herself in front of the camera a few months ago and has been growing in demand ever since.

Neesa Butterberry - A girl i found on Google +. I know! I was amazed to see people actually used that thing! I like her work a lot.

Carrie Day - Another friend of mine who, like Aoife, lives in Vancouver. A great photographer with some really cool ideas.

Ross Costigan - Becoming quite established in his field and rightly so. Ross has had a camera of some shape or form in his hand for pretty much the entire ten years I have known him.

Maik Sinkovec I've come across this guy recently and I really love his style. Dark, grungy, horror fetish. Some amazing work.

Well, that's all for now. There is also this guy, but he loves himself waaay too much, and also smells of wee and farts!*

*He's actually a pretty damn cool photographer. Who seriously smells of wee and farts.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Symbolic Prison Sentences

Why? I ask you why such a thing even exists.

Imagine the scene:

Johnny Good Lawyer is presenting his closing argument to the jury. They listen intently, for the most part, as he swaggers and postures around in front of them, making grand hand gestures and using big words like 'concordently' and 'Now, I don't know much about your big ciddy ways' as he slides his thumbs up and down the inside of his suspenders. (...and those things that hold up his pants. Hey O!)

He tells of the anguish and tragedy suffered by his client at the hands of another.

The Judge asks "Have you reached a verdict?"

"We have, your honour" would come the response.

Guilty, blah blah blah etc. Then the Judge reads out the verdict and the camera pans in for dramatic effect as the court room shakes and the judge bellows "I sentence you to a bajillion zillion years in prison!!!!!!"

Gasp, shock, horror! A large-breasted blonde faints, Journalists run for the phones wearing those hats with those little white cards resting on the side that say "Press"... because, y'know, why not?

The headlines of tomorrow's papers read "Man Sentenced to a Bajillion Zillion years in prison!!" With the redundent as fuck quote a few lines down "Sentence is mostly symbolic".

No fucking shit it's symbolic!! What are we, Trees!? Why give out such ludicrously pointless sentences? "Yo, dawg. You hear what happend to TJ? He got sent down for a stretch in San Quentin! "Oh word, fo real? How long he got?" "Motha fucka got 20,000 years!"

Gah!!! ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) Y U Gotta be so retarded!? (...and stereotypically racist)

This rant was brought on by this article which I found via the BBC's News website stating that a 55 year old ex-soldier was givin a 6,060 year prision sentence for his role in a war crime during the Guatemalan Civil War.

Ok, so I understand making an example and bringing such a criminal to justice but come on. The maximum life sentence is 50 years. The dude is 55!! He's not going to live long enough to ever to see the end of the actual sentence. Why piss around with stupid numbers!?

Man, I'm angry today. And to top it all off THIS happened!

Shoot me, shoot me now!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Some newsie type things

There are times where I find myself spamming facebook with links to stories I find interesting, funny, abhorent etc becuase I like to share things around now and then. I've been doing this for as long as I can remember. It just struck me though, why fill up my friend's feeds with endless links when I can just as easily fire them all off in one place. Like a shotbun blast instead of single bullets from a 9MM. I suppose i've been inspired by the likes of Phillip DeFranco and Sourcefed.

Where as their productions are professional and produced with awesomeness, this little thing here will just be links and or videos with sporadic comments. I might even just share what I find because of those two youtube channels. Well, sharing is caring as they say and all credit will ofcourse go to those who originaly created such things.


This story from the BBC website caught my eye because of how unfair it seems to be to do the right thing. Man tries to download music. Downloads kiddie porn without his knowledge. Reports incident to police. Loses right to be around his own Daughter. Pretty fucked up. Click here for the full story.

Next up, again from the BBC, is the story of members of Lulzsec, the so called "Hacktivist" group who have recently been arrested in connection with a serious of cyber crimes. One of the men, Donal, was a student at the same University I go to. Go, College!
I'm have my theories on the sudden rise and subsequent fall of Lulzsec and the recent revelation that their former leader, "Sabu", had turned and was working with the FBI for the last few months really doesnt surprise me at all. It begs the question, if Sabu was working for the FBI, and Lulzsec was involved in attacking high profile targets such as Visa, Sony, the CIA etc, were these attacks orchestrated or influenced by the FBI themselves?

Click here for this story in full.

That's about it for now. I suppose I should've done this kind of thing sooner, and now I'm fighting the urge to back-date all the things but I wont. I link to way too many things on facebook. I'm sorta getting sick and tired of that damned thing and who knows, I may get rid of it one day and focus soley on this bloggity as a means to divulge my chaotic brain droppings.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Kate Upton, eat Carl's Burger, or the kitten gets it!

There are many things I love in this world. Among them are boobs and burgers. Recently, a commercial for U.S fast food chain Carl's Jr combined these two glorious inventions. Here is the ad:

However, there is just one thing wrong: Feminists.

Yes, women all over the internet (Rule 1 doesnt apply in this case) are outraged by the cheap, trashy, misogynistic and sexual debasement of Kate Upton, who was forced to look as edible as the burger she was having mouth sex with in the advert.

The ever fappable Ms Upton was kidnapped by Navy S.E.A.Ls not so long ago, while making her way to church. She was then told if she didnt advertise the coronary-inducing, 890 calorie giving cheesy cow sandwhich, then Jesus would kill a kitten. What was she supposed to do? Just let Jesus decimate all those cute and innocent pussies!?

NOT ON HER WATCH! So Kate did what Kate does best...looks fucking sexual as all hell and sold the shit out of that burger!

Then came the outrage!

This picture is a small sample of the fury left by angry women on the Carl's Jr facebook page. How dare they try to sell fatty food to obese men using a scantily clad, sexy lady! Shame!! SHAME!!! We thought this was America!

Ladies, ladies, calm down. It's only a commercial. Why are you attacking Carl's Jr? If you eat there, then well you obviously don't look anything like Kate Upton and are therefore just jealous of her amazing body and her ability to give men erections. If you don't eat there, why do you even care? Did you go all spastic when those fucktards at Peta got all sexified with fruit and vegetables?
I doubt it. Why? Becuase the leader of Peta is a woman. A fucking dumb as shit, hippie twat of a woman, but a woman none the less.

So cop the fuck on. Men will always eat fast food. Men will always loves tits. The best way to sell meat to men is buy using hot, sexy ladies. That's just how the world is. Moaning about it will never change anything.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

In My Perfect World

Here's a poem by me. Enjoy ^_^

In my perfect world there'd be,

An abudnance of that most glorious word, "free"

Nothing would tear this world assunder,

There'd be no need to rape and plunder.

We'd all get along, as would dogs and cats,

And everyone would wear silly hats!

Travel the world without tax or Air fare,

You could see 18 countries in a year, who'd care?

Muslim, Christian, Mormon or Jew,

Forget religion, we'd start anew!

There would be no such thing as a "Holy War",

You could spend each night with a different beur.

Or maybe you'd want to be with the one who matters,

And live your lives like mad fucking hatters.

There'd be no such thing as education fees,

And adventurers wouldn't take arrows in their knees.

Bigotry, Homophobia, these things would desist,

Because in my world, they wouldn't exist!

Disease, violence, ills which plague our mortal race,
I'd say "Fuck em all, let's band together and explore space!"

These are just some of what would be unfurled,

If I had my way, in my own Perfect World!

Photo by Thierry Legault. 2011

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Whitney's dead!! ZOMG!

Fuckin get over it, lads!

Jaysus...whenever a celebrity dies the internet goes insane with grief and praise over how amazing that person was. Ryan Dunn, Steve Jobs, Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse and now Whitney Houston.

For those of you too young to even know who Whitney Housten is, she was a popular singer in the 80's and early 90's. Songs like "I wanna dance with somebody", "It's not right, but it's ok", "I will always love you" and "The Shocker" with that immortal line "2 in the pink and 1 in the stink; that's called the shocker!". I may have one of those songs confused with another artist.

Lets get some things into perspective here, people. Whitney Houston, though a singer of talent and pedigree, was nothing more than a woman who could sing, make really bad lifestyle choices and "act" opposite Kevin Costner. That's it. She didnt find a cure for cancer. She didnt swim around the world. She didnt donate her vast riches to those in need. She was just a woman who married a cunt and became a junkie later in her life.

Thousands of people have been slaughted in Syria over the last year or so. Millions have died around the world due to starvation, war, disease, abuse and horrible acts of violance while many others have to live horrible lives in fear, pain and suffering ever single day.

I'm so sick of all this public grief wankathon whenever a celebrity dies. One of my idols, Christopher Hitchens died last year. Another, George Carlin, a few years previously. It sucked, and they were honoured for their achievements and contribution to society but the world didnt fucking end. Whitney Houston sold some records and her music brought some joy and entertainment into people's Good for her and good for those people, but she wasnt fucking Jesus, or Bugs Bunny or any of the other beloved children's fictional characters. So stop acting like she was.

This rant has now ended. Go in peace to love and serve yourselves. And Jason Statham cus he's a baus!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Wanna help make me look stupid?

You know you do. I'm annoying, I complain a lot, i'm an arrogant son of a bitch, a know-it-all smartarse who at least some of you would love it if I got my fair share of ridicule!

Now is your chance! ^_^

There is this thing called Shave or Dye which is a Today Fm (Irish radio station) annual fundraiser for the Irish Cancer Society. The website can be found here:

So the thing is this: I promise to dye my hair and you good people sponsor me for it with all monies going to the Irish Cancer Foundation. A very wortyhy cause indeed. But wait..."Dye your hair, Adam? that's a bit lame!" I hear you say. Well, that's where it gets fun for all of you! I have no say in what colour or colours my hair shall be dyed. No control at all over how my head shall look. Rainbow head? A full head of hot pink hair? That's up to you. Come the first week of March, when I have recieved all the money you wonderful people have pledged, I will ask all of you what colour or colours you want me to sport on top of this lovely cranium of mine and the colour with the most votes is the winner. Hopefully by the 7th of March I will then share with the world my lovely new hair do.

"Ah, but you'll just wear a hat like always" cynical, you people are! hats (unless it's really feckin cold)

So there ya have it. You get to make me look like a twonk, and we all get to help of a great cause. What do ya say, team?

This is the website you can use to donate online and keep track of how much has been raised.


Here's a brain fart I just had. Share a bizzare J-Pop music video each Friday and call it W.A.F.F.L.E. (I might just share Japanese videos in general. Japan is fuckin weird. That is why I loves it. Also it has Ninjas. and Samurai. And really hot ladies.)

Waffle is a term that can be used when people speak jibberish for an undisclosed amount of time. For example: "I hadn't a clue what yer man was on about. Sure didn't he just waffle on for like 20 minutes?"

Waffle is also an acronym for Weird As Fuck Fridays Lesbian Ecbole. (The word ecbole means digression. I needed a word for L and E to make the acronym fit and I enjoy lesbians. Also I digress a lot. See? It all fits together into a nice little package! Kinda like real waffles, which I love.)

Now yes, I am aware that Japanese is a perfectly understandable language to those who can speak it, but I dont and therfore it sounds like waffle to me.


Here it is! The first W.A.F.F.L.E video! Will it be the last? Who the fuck knows with me.

It's a song called PonPonPon by きゃりーぱみゅぱみゅ (Which I can only assume means cute little Japanese girl). This video has everything. It's like Random Man blew his load all over a Turkey wearing green sleeves. Then ate the Turkey cus he's boss like that.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Pussy Farts

That got your attention, didnt it?

I cant sleep so i've decided to revisit some old test results from Ok Cupid tests. I've done something like this before and the results were quite different. For example, back in 2010, I re-took a test I had previously done a few years before that and got these differing results...

Your result for The Doomed Romantic Test...
Dead Inside

24% Romanticism, 31% Melodrama, 29% Desperation, 40% Uselessness
Low Romanticism, Low Melodrama, Low Desperation and Low Uselessness - you are Dead Inside.

ON THE PLUS SIDE: You don't giving a flying holy fuck about any of this love hoopla. It's idiocy. For the birds. You're not going to sucumb to it and nor are you going to be hurt by it. You know what you want, and it's certainly not doomed romances.

ON THE MINUS SIDE: You don't want any romances, in fact. You're a shambling wraith of the human condition, devoid of even a trace amount of magnificence. Aww.And the new result is:

Your result for The Doomed Romantic Test ...(Re-taken in 2010)
The Wraith

58% Romanticism, 41% Melodrama, 25% Desperation, 43% Uselessness
High Romanticism, Low Melodrama, Low Desperation and Low Uselessness - you are The Wraith.

You've seen the movies, read the books - you know how this love thing works. And you like it. You like it a lot. You're in love with being in love. You don't care with who.

You exist only to fall in love, drifting from relationship to relationship as though nothing's wrong. But something is wrong - you. Hmmm....not a great improvement there, is there? I went from Dead inside to Death incarnate. Shite.

Lovely. So let me see how this fairs in 2012...

Your result for The Doomed Romantic Test ...
Cretinous Fool

48% Romanticism, 21% Melodrama, 36% Desperation, 57% Uselessness
Low Romanticism, Low Melodrama, Low Desperation and High Uselessness - you are the Cretinous Fool.

Well, if there's one thing you're good at, it's being a flaming retard. Of that we can be sure. Whether or not you're going to find love, doomed or otherwise, is not the question you need to ask yourself. You need to ask: Should I sterilise myself now for the good of humanity?

And yes, unfortunately - the answer is yes. wonderful.

NEXT UP! We have The Brutally Honest Personality Test. Last Time I got "Prick". Seems fitting.

The 2012 result is.....: I'm still a Prick. Yay!

Your result for The Brutally Honest Personality Test ...
Prick- ENTP

67% Extraversion, 67% Intuition, 67% Thinking, 20% Judging
People love to hate you, because you love to argue. The strange thing is you probably took that as a compliment. Why, I bet you've already got a witty comeback all lined up ready to throw right back at me.

What you don't realise is that your inane obsession with debating pisses everyone off. Whatever happened to us all trying to get along? I mean, you're so annoying people disagree with you for the damn sake of it! NOBODY cares about your abundant opinions. Trust me.

Believe it or not, but there's more to life than your expansive knowledge and sharp repertoire. When was the last time you showered? Brushed your teeth?

While you're up in Nevernever land, getting excited over future possibilities and your crazy theories, WE have to put up with your awful stench. I can smell you from here.

Your personality is ideal for that of a future lawyer and because everyone already hates you, you have nothing to lose.

Yeah, that seems about right.