Pussy Farts

That got your attention, didnt it?

I cant sleep so i've decided to revisit some old test results from Ok Cupid tests. I've done something like this before and the results were quite different. For example, back in 2010, I re-took a test I had previously done a few years before that and got these differing results...

Your result for The Doomed Romantic Test...
Dead Inside

24% Romanticism, 31% Melodrama, 29% Desperation, 40% Uselessness
Low Romanticism, Low Melodrama, Low Desperation and Low Uselessness - you are Dead Inside.

ON THE PLUS SIDE: You don't giving a flying holy fuck about any of this love hoopla. It's idiocy. For the birds. You're not going to sucumb to it and nor are you going to be hurt by it. You know what you want, and it's certainly not doomed romances.

ON THE MINUS SIDE: You don't want any romances, in fact. You're a shambling wraith of the human condition, devoid of even a trace amount of magnificence. Aww.And the new result is:

Your result for The Doomed Romantic Test ...(Re-taken in 2010)
The Wraith

58% Romanticism, 41% Melodrama, 25% Desperation, 43% Uselessness
High Romanticism, Low Melodrama, Low Desperation and Low Uselessness - you are The Wraith.

You've seen the movies, read the books - you know how this love thing works. And you like it. You like it a lot. You're in love with being in love. You don't care with who.

You exist only to fall in love, drifting from relationship to relationship as though nothing's wrong. But something is wrong - you. Hmmm....not a great improvement there, is there? I went from Dead inside to Death incarnate. Shite.


Lovely. So let me see how this fairs in 2012...

Your result for The Doomed Romantic Test ...
Cretinous Fool

48% Romanticism, 21% Melodrama, 36% Desperation, 57% Uselessness
Low Romanticism, Low Melodrama, Low Desperation and High Uselessness - you are the Cretinous Fool.

Well, if there's one thing you're good at, it's being a flaming retard. Of that we can be sure. Whether or not you're going to find love, doomed or otherwise, is not the question you need to ask yourself. You need to ask: Should I sterilise myself now for the good of humanity?

And yes, unfortunately - the answer is yes.


Oh...how wonderful.



NEXT UP! We have The Brutally Honest Personality Test. Last Time I got "Prick". Seems fitting.

The 2012 result is.....: I'm still a Prick. Yay!

Your result for The Brutally Honest Personality Test ...
Prick- ENTP

67% Extraversion, 67% Intuition, 67% Thinking, 20% Judging
People love to hate you, because you love to argue. The strange thing is you probably took that as a compliment. Why, I bet you've already got a witty comeback all lined up ready to throw right back at me.

What you don't realise is that your inane obsession with debating pisses everyone off. Whatever happened to us all trying to get along? I mean, you're so annoying people disagree with you for the damn sake of it! NOBODY cares about your abundant opinions. Trust me.

Believe it or not, but there's more to life than your expansive knowledge and sharp repertoire. When was the last time you showered? Brushed your teeth?

While you're up in Nevernever land, getting excited over future possibilities and your crazy theories, WE have to put up with your awful stench. I can smell you from here.

Your personality is ideal for that of a future lawyer and because everyone already hates you, you have nothing to lose.


Yeah, that seems about right.

Love thy neighbour?

Arnt humans lovely? They rape, murder, destroy, lie, cheat and steal. In fact, we are the only species on this planet who cause harm to others just for fun. I'm bored and I want something to do. I know, I'll go out and shoot something or I might even rape a baby. A dead baby! (Only species to fuck our own dead aswel.) But I must be home early, I've got church in the morning!

I just watched a video that accompanied a story about a man in Nigeria (according to comments, the people in the video are speaking Nigerian) who is set upon by a gang, in the middle of the day, on a busy street, and is kicked, punched, beaten with makeshift weapons and then set on fire to die in the street. All the while the local towns folk just stand idly by with their camera phones recording and taking pictures. The reason for this insane cruelty and apathy, according to self proclaimed Nigerian speakers, is that the victim is a thief and or murderer. Original claims that the man was gay and was thus set upon is most likely the reason this video was released online but in case, sexual orientation is irrelevent.

How is it that people can just treat another human as if they were an inanimate object? What does it say about that particular country's attitude to life? What exactly is wrong with us as a species? Seriously. Religious or not, how can anyone justify what happened to that man, and countless others?

I look at the world how it is and I both marvel and cry. Capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares, people everywhere need to fuckin cop on. There was a warning before the video saying extremely graphic and that you wouldnt be able to watch the whole thing. I was aprehensive for the first minute or so and then I just kinda became numb. I think i'm so used to how people treat each other, not even an act or pure, sadistic, public cruelty like that could really phase me.

Fuck the world and everyone it,
We squander our potential,
We dont deserve any of it.